Fifty Days From Today

In 50 days, I will have moved into our “permanent” rental home and will have my worldly belongings around me again. Hard to believe some of that stuff has been packed away since last March!

In 50 days, Michael will have turned 16 and will likely have his driver’s license. Prayers are welcome. 🙂

In 50 days, my mom and Nikole will be visiting us for the first time since we moved to Duluth.

In 50 days, I will be greeting my eldest son for the first time since he was a few days old.

Since my adoption story post back in January, the wheels of reunion have been put in motion and they are rolling through the calendar days like a road trip that never seems to end. “Are we there yet?” By a stroke of luck, the Army sent Nikole for job training in the same state where her brother’s parents live, and they each were able to take her out for lunch or dinner. Similar to stories of twins separated at birth, it seems my first 2 children have striking similarities in mannerisms and preferences, as well as having some common physical characteristics that one would expect in full siblings. This has actually helped to ease some of the butterflies that are free-falling in my stomach on an intermittent basis, maybe because it conveys a sense of familiarity.

But then I returned to reading reunion posts in an adoption forum that I joined many months ago. Suddenly, I’m reading them with a different perspective. Sadly, some of the reunions were not the stuff of dreams, and many people were counseling others on “what not to say.” Oh. My. Gosh. Now I have even more butterflies – and these ones were eating at my insides… Speaking before thinking is one of my worst character flaws and this would be the worst possible time to “open mouth, insert foot.” The butterflies multiplied like rabbits.

I admit, I freaked out a bit. After allowing me to have a “what if” panic session, already dissecting the possible ways I could screw this up, Bob gave me the same advice I’m fond of giving to him and others. It was along the lines of focusing on the present because worrying about it now won’t do anything to help the situation and that everything will work out the way it is supposed to be. I should just be myself and not think that someone else’s situation is going to be absolutely representative of my own experience. After getting over the shock of realization that he listens to my advice, I worked on actually taking it. 😉

The next day, I pulled out my box of letters and photos that had been sent to me from the beginning of the adoption process. In re-reading all those notes, I realized that I really didn’t have anything to worry about. I wasn’t in this alone; his parents are wonderful advocates for us both, and they would be right there with us every step of the way.

Aren’t we there yet?

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Danny
    May 27, 2011 @ 19:30:32

    Wow! What an intriguing time for you to say the least! The oldest advice in the book is just to take everything one day at a time. From what I know of you from your posts it sounds like you have an amazing family so each day would seem to be a gift of it’s own and I don’t get the impression you have very many dull moments. The oldest saying from the book of sayings (lol) is ‘time flies when you’re having fun.’ and I think your ’50 days’ will have passed before you know it.

    Looking forward to hearing how all this turns out!

    Excellent post!

    -Danny

    Reply

  2. elizabethsaidso
    May 27, 2011 @ 22:15:20

    Thanks Danny! 🙂 There are a few dull moments (I had to do laundry today after all, haha), but yes – this life can be very interesting to say the least. 🙂 In 50 days, I’m sure I’ll look back and think – wow – the time sure did fly, but for now, I’m trying to be patient…and remember to appreciate the days as they happen and not just as stepping stones to the “big prize.” (Sometimes this is hard to do!)

    Reply

  3. HHH
    May 29, 2011 @ 00:07:31

    Such an exciting event to look forward to, Elizabeth! I suspect he’ll have many questions, and like everyone else on the planet he’ll want to be heard and validated. You do that well, so just be your beautiful, loving self. 🙂

    Reply

  4. elizabethsaidso
    May 29, 2011 @ 08:00:31

    Thanks HHH. 🙂

    Reply

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